Arco (TN)

Arco (TN)

Tuesday, January 27, 2015

Writing With Sogi - Carpe Diem Haiku Special - January 27, 2015


 Carpe Diem Haiku Kai Special

Now that they end
There is no flower that can compare
With cherry blossoms

© Iio Sogi

This is the last prompt for Lio Sogi, an early hokku master, who among other things wrote a Dokugin .. a sort of Soliloquy no Renga ... the haiku above was the beginning of one of these Solo Renga!  I liked the idea and so thought I'd try to do the same ... beginning at where Sogi lead me ... mankind's tendency to always look for "greener pastures" ... perhaps in a season we've lamented so much about ... winter.   ;-)

Dokugin or Soliloquy no Renga



winter memories
so much brighter in summer
dripping  sweat

buzzing swarms of mosquitoes
heat haze across the mountains

hoping for a breeze
the screens keep
 insects out
dreaming of mountains

closing shades and curtains
to keep the hot sun outside

fields burnt yellow
cicadas shrill refrain
winter silence

© G.s.k. ‘15



13 comments:

  1. O how that haze of mosquitoes dismays me! I'm running for cover!

    Cherry Blossoms

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    1. Oh I do agree ... unfortunately, they seem to love me a lot!

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  2. yes,,,reality can bite back when you are coasting along on memories. Nicel twist in the romance.

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    1. and it's all reality ... at one moment in time ;-)

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  3. I love your contrast of a warm day with a cold blossomless day. I felt the warmth stream through the open windows :)

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  4. I think I've changed my mind about winter. I had forgotten all the bad stuff of summer- thanks for reminding me - - I think. Kidding aside, the renga is wonderful.

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    1. Every season has it's ups and downs ... I was just trying to remember some of the things we gripe about in summer ... instead of griping about winter ;-) Glad you enjoyed the renga!

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  5. What a powerful ending -- contrasting the shrill cicadas with this winter silence. Very nicely done!
    Was thinking about this the other day --- walking past my favorite tree --- "Edgar Ent" -- where the cicada song echoed forever and was so LOUD this summer. So eerily quiet now.....

    Nicely done -- we always remember the opposite season so fondly...!

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    1. Thanks Paloma! I am so happy you liked that ending ... the idea was to bring the reader back to the reality of winter after so many summer memories. The original hokku, reflecting brought the reality of how we tend to canonize a part of what has passed ... he really wrote that haiku well and I would have loved to see what his solo renga was like!

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  6. That final haiku is very powerful, I think - quite stark, but with vivid images juxtaposed and 'musical' phrases :-)

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harmonious words ... like crystal clear water ... pure ectasy

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